How the Grinch Overcame Misophonia
When the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes did it compress a nerve somewhere between his ears and brain? Did blowing his trumpet down Mount Crumpet deafen him ever so slightly so that the flooflovers and gardookas didn’t hold such power over him?
Liz Sarb
The Dr. Seuss masterpiece “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” is a holiday mainstay for a reason. It has elements of all the classics: a hero’s journey, a hardened heart softened by a child, a makeover montage (I’m referring, of course, to The Grinch transforming himself into Santa Claus using only the materials he has on hand).
It’s a beautiful story.
Since becoming a parent, however, I have some questions…
Just one*, really.
But what about the noise, noise, noise, noise?
The Grinch’s dislike of Christmas has little to do with gaudy decorations and Who-Hash. It’s the result of a hardened heart, a soul-deep loneliness, and *noise.*
Noise, noise, noise, noise!
The Grinch hopes that removing the trappings of Christmas will make the noise noise noise noise go away.
(Okay, actually, if you want to get technical about it, he hopes to replace the noise of the jing-tinglers with the sound of “boo-hoos.” We can all be glad for his sake that he failed; the wailing of little Whos is a sound that dives to the deepest, most reactive part of one’s amygdala).
Well, as we know (and if you don’t know, I should warn you belatedly, ***this article contains spoilers***), the Whos don’t boo-hoo nor pipe down upon discovering the theft. Instead, they gather and sing with joy.
Upon hearing this, the old Grinchy Claus realizes that the season isn’t about packages, boxes or tags, and he brings all the trains and tar-tinglers back and participates fully in the holiday fun.
Lovely.
But.
The story glosses over a gaping plot point; a point that I, as a parent, need to understand: How the heck did he get over the noise?!
When the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes did it compress a nerve somewhere between his ears and brain? Did blowing his trumpet down Mount Crumpet deafen him ever so slightly so that the flooflovers and gardookas didn’t hold such power over him?
THESE are the life lessons I need, Ted! I’m on board with the spirit of Christmas. I recognize that the season is about family and love (and a little bit about cookies). What I need to understand now, as a grown up with Whos of my own, is: how did the Grinch overcome his misophonia?? How do the rest of us avoid losing it at 4 p.m. on Christmas day, attempting to carve our Roast Beast while oversugared Whos shriek all around us? How do we avoid chucking the knife on the table and shouting “Holy CRAP! In the NAME of baby JESUS, stop SHOUTING!”?
The Grinch is gorgeous and I will love it forever. But. The life lessons I took as a child no longer cut it. I need the thesis-level analysis. (And give it to me quietly, please.)
*Ok, I actually have two questions, but this second one is less pressing: Did Theodore Geisel ever actually meet a two year old? Perhaps Cindy Lou Who was two only for rhyming purposes. But for a two year old to have the wherewithal to recognize Santy Claus, clearly state her needs and concerns, accept what he tells her, and then go back to sleep?? [Head explodes.] That kid belonged in Who Mensa.
