Just a Quick Rant As I Fall
Society watches uncomfortably and assigns blame to the silly women toppling over the edge. “It’s too bad,” they say, “They should do something!”
Liz Sarb
So... the U.S. went over the childcare cliff a few weeks ago.
My husband and I didn’t notice. Many of us probably didn’t. In reality, we live at the bottom of that cliff. We already struggled to find affordable, reliable providers in childcare deserts. We already had to leave the workforce or work with children in our laps and hair.
I'm one of the lucky ones: I’ve worked remotely. I've had (and have) a great partner, terrific managers, and clients who support and welcome the babies on my lap during calls. I’ve worked on teams that recognize that what I miss in daytime hours I'll make up for in the evenings or on weekends.
I still left the full-time workforce this past spring when school let out because our family couldn’t find full-time childcare for four kids under seven. I still can't take on contracts that I find exceptionally meaningful because the income-to-childcare ratio doesn't make sense.
And now, because of inaction on federal funding, there will be more of us. More parents—mostly mothers—dropping out of full-time roles or struggling to make ends meet because childcare costs will be even higher and childcare options will be even fewer.
I recently worked for a company that offered a cool benefit.* If your daycare closed, or your babysitter was sick, this service would pay for temporary coverage. In theory: amazing. In practice: useless. Why? There are no providers.
Because there’s not enough subsidization for childcare, centers and providers fold. Because centers and providers fold, those that remain are a) priced beyond what many of us can afford and b) at capacity. There are no magical daycares waiting in the wings to provide substitute care; not in my town. Not in most towns.
*Y’know, back when I was still trying to piece together childcare and work full-time before COVID further decimated the system and a fourth baby came our way and we threw our hands up and said “Efffffffff.”
When I read “childcare cliff,” the image that appears in my head is parent after parent on a conveyor belt cradling a baby or holding a toddler by the hand. Most are busy with the kids and don’t even notice the floor beneath their feet moving inexorably toward the steep drop. Some try to fight it but you know how walking the wrong way on a people-mover goes.
Over they go, one by one, into the clear blue sky. Representatives from Congress and fellow Americans watch uncomfortably and assign blame to the silly women toppling over the edge. “It’s too bad,” they say, “They should do something!”
I’ve seen a direct version of this sentiment online, where civility goes to die. “You decided to have kids,” the thinking goes. “Why should my tax dollars pay for your stupid kids? Quit whining and raise your children!”
Unkindness and shortsightedness always go hand in hand, don’t they?
Don’t you see? I want to call to them across the ether. Don’t you understand what this does to you, too? To all of us?
Today’s kids will pay for our social infrastructure when today’s adults are aging out. Their tax dollars will pay for our security—all of ours: those of us that birthed them, and those of us that didn’t.
Today’s kids will lead the companies and institutions foundational to our economy and country in a few decades. It’s probably best if we – as a society, not just as individual parents – set them up early for success, right?
Do you know how much stronger the economy could be if we untethered women from childcare?! Jesus. My own family’s economic contributions have so severely shriveled in the past year that I can’t help but imagine the power we could tap into if we unleashed parents. At the very least, we could buy the things you’re selling.
Two of my kids… weren’t mine, at first. If we want to be a society that cares for the most vulnerable among us – kids who need parents – the very least we can do as a collective is make it a little easier for the people who are willing to step in and care for those children. I think about that Mattress Firm campaign, “Not everyone can be a foster parent, but anyone can help a foster child.” Maybe more people could be foster parents if we stopped making it so dang hard to parent, period.
It’s not like we can’t do anything. Other countries are doing things! Continued subsidization, increased subsidization (c’mon, we do it for corn, but not for children?!), universal pre-K. Private companies could get in on the action and, to be fair, some are trying. But where are the HR policies that support more well-paid, part-time roles? Why in the hell is there such a push to “return to the office?” That’s the wrong direction, guys!! The conveyor belt is going this way!! I… can’t…get… there!
I wish our country was a bit less shortsighted.
I wish our society were a bit more kind.
I wish for a soft landing as we tip over this edge.
*More info about the childcare cliff:
